I’ve created a true crime blog because why not? Who doesn’t love a good murder story?
There’s a reason why people love redundant cop dramas and shows like Wives With Knives; we have a morbid, yet normal fascination with the horrific things other people do to one another. Fictional detectives also make old people feel safe, knowing Mark Harmon is putting away bad guys helps middle America sleep at night.
For a twice weekly dose of murdery goodness, check out amurdermostfoul.com. If you are a part of the toxic Internet wasteland that is Twitter follow the blog @AMMFBlog.
I’m not talking about the Pokemon sludge ball. I have no clue what that is but Google suggested it when I was researching a source for this post. I’m assuming it’s something I’m not cool enough to know about.
I am getting my gallbladder removed soon, then I can go back to enjoying hot sauce and everything else I enjoy instead of eating Frosted Mini Wheats for dinner.
How my co-workers must feel when I tell them how much I miss French fries and Buffalo sauce.
Luckily, I can drink coffee so I’m not a total monster.
Having a sludge ball and/or gallstones is no big deal and not exactly worth even posting about. My gallbladder hates me and is pretty much useless at this point, whatever. If it didn’t have the delightful name of “sludge ball” it wouldn’t have even bothered with this.
You’d think there would be a more eloquent sounding Latin-derived medical term.
Nope…SLUDGE BALL.
It sounds like something the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers would have defeated.
I know, dear readers, you are probably expecting me to post a picture of said sludge ball. For once, I’m keeping the squeamish in my thoughts and posts and instead leaving you with a damn gif and a cat picture.
Google at your own risk and think about me when you’re eating anything tasty slathered in jalapeno.
Something about the summer and warmer weather gets me all nostalgic for the horrible AWESOME, cheesy pop tunes of my middle school years. Hearing these songs reminds me of the days before we all bought organic almond milk and phones weren’t smart. I’ve noticed people my age tend to be VERY nostalgic. I blame this on the fact we have the world the power of Google literally with us constantly. This gives us the ability search for those obscure songs, movies, music videos and TV shows from yester-year whenever we get the urge or someone asks you if you remember said pop culture event from 2004.
Gone are the days of waiting for TRL to play your favorite song, recording songs off the radio with a cassette tape, and giving your computer a million viruses by downloading music from LimeWire and Napster.Thanks to Apple Music, Spotify, Amazon and the angels from Heaven who upload music to YouTube, we can hear any song any time we want on multiple devices. We no longer have to pay anywhere from $15 to $25 for a CD and only like a few songs.
While these technologies have improved the entertainment aspect of our lives, hearing a song you like isn’t the anymore because you can simply pull said song up any time on your phone. There’s little thrill in hear “your jam” on the radio after listening to hours of Avril Lavinge on repeat, (note: Avril was never my jam but I still totally downloaded her songs).
My husband, who is ten years older than me has made fun of my everlasting and undying love for this crap music. But then he told me that you will always love the music you grew up with.
This is something I’ve found to be true as I get older and makes me happy I don’t hate all the crap music from almost twenty years ago.
I recently took all of my old CDs both burned and legit which were scratched beyond repair to my city’s electronics recycling center. This is something that I flip-flopped about doing for some time. I was torn between keeping an old part of myself and my hatred of clutter. My adult self won because I realized just because I no longer had those old, scratched and barely playing CDs, the boy bands live on!
My mom asked me a few weeks ago if I plan out books I’ve written/am working on or if I make them up as I go.
The answer is “yes” to both.
There are no set rules to writing, or how to get it done. One rule I would follow is to NOT start a story with a character waking up, unless they are in a body bag, but that’s another post for another day.
All that matters is you got your writing done. Who cares how you got there?
I tend to write down what I want to happen in the story and then make it happen. I also write chapters and scenes out of order. It makes it easier for me to make things happen in the story this way.
When you are creating a fictional universe, you get the chance to unleash your inner sociopath and play God. Regardless of your plans, things might change and that is okay. Which is why I said yes to both making things up and planning. If you are writing a complex fictional world where things are actually happening, things will happen along the way that force you to change things, hence playing God.
If you choose to plan/outline here are some pointers:
Keep your notes in one place
This is self explanatory. It’s much easier to keep everything you need relating to one project in a single location. Switch between apps/programs until you find the one that works best for you. I currently use Google Keep which is available across various platforms. I type up notes and ideas on the go and use them when the time comes.
2. Actually write stuff down
I know it’s scary having to actually write something down. Sorry, fellow youngsters, we’re going back to 1999 and getting out our pen and paper! I find taking the pen to paper helps when I’m suffering from writer’s block. Removing yourself from technology and distractions is the best thing you can do for your creative projects. Turn off the Wi-Fi, close your laptop, and take a pen to your shiny, new notebook!
To make this work, I recommend investing in a good notebook for this seemingly daunting task to be as enjoyable as possible.
Moleskine is the king of all notebooks and my personal favorite. The hefty price tag is worth the investment in your writing. Unless you’re writing Fifty Shades Of Grey fan fiction. Then you just need to analyze your life choices.
3. DON’T DELETE/THROW ANYTHING AWAY UNLESS YOU ARE SURE YOU DO NOT NEED IT!
This is probably the most important and obvious. Let’s say you write down an outline for a chapter that you then decide to omit from your book. You then delete it. Later, you are writing and remember you had this awesome idea for X, but you don’t remember what said awesome idea was. You frantically search for it only to discover your dumbass deleted it. WHOMP WHOMP!
This is why you keep things.
As always, take my advice or don’t. Otherwise, write on.
There was a reason why Deadpool is the highest grossing rated R movie EVER. It gave the people what they wanted; a superhero movie that was fun, funny, slightly touching, violent and frankly just freakin’ awesome. Marvel made a superhero movie for the weirdos who want to go see them. Bless them for it. There’s no argument that Marvel is beating the ever loving hell out of DC when it comes to movies. Sorry to burst the bubble of every Nolan fanboy.
After seeing Batman vs. Superman aka Batfleck and hot British dude fight about nothing for three hours, I love Deadpool even more. Not that I hated Bats vs. Supes, it just wasn’t what it could have been. While I was watching it and shoving cheap movie theatre nachos down my world hole, I found myself comparing it to Deadpool and over Marvel movies.
In a world full of Internet whiners and people who complain and are offended but every little thing, we need Deadpool to slap the chimichangas out of our mouths and remind us it’s okay to have fun and make dick jokes.
In a world full of Batman vs. Supermans, be a Deadpool.
Deadpool reminds us of yourselves; he’s not perfect, can’t afford a Batcave, and isn’t a super jacked alien who can destroy the world in five minutes if he wanted to. He made a decision that altered his trajectory and was better because of it. No spoilers so I’ll stop right there.
As much as I love writing Wine Up Wednesday and as funny as I think the Cersei Lannister scoring system is, it’s something I haven’t been able to keep up with. For the two people who actually read my blog, I’m sorry. I have been trying to drink less wine, not that a drink a ton anyway and save some money by not buying things I don’t need. Booze is the last on the list for me when it comes to necessities. Some people would say I’m missing out. Those people are drunks.
Anyway, I plan on keeping this post series going as often as I can. I bought a new bottle of wine today so stay tuned.
This week’s wine is Yellow Tail Chardonnay. This company is well known to even the non-wino crowd as being cheap and featuring a kangaroo logo. The brand isn’t bad; I love their Moscato and Shiraz. But this one missed the mark with me.
This wine is cheap. Not like Two Buck Chuck cheap, but like could probably feed two people at McDonald’s for the price cheap.
As someone who enjoys a good deal, I don’t always believe you either get or don’t get what you pay for. Some cheap things will last forever, some expensive things are crap. This doesn’t always ring true when it comes to wine.
Wine, like coffee isn’t for everyone. Developing a taste for certain things can take years of evolving. For example, I can drink a Black Americano like it’s water and I used to be all about the Caramel Brûlée. For the coffee drinkers, you will understand the Starbucks lingo. For the less or non-caffeinated, it means I went from sweet to strong.
Same goes for wine. I haven’t developed much of a taste for dry whites which is maybe why I didn’t like this wine. I can drink a nice cab all day but some dry whites make me want to heave.
This was one of the them.
Back to the cheapness factor. I’ve bought $3 bottles of wine and I’ve bought $20 bottles of wine. Can I taste the difference? No. Maybe there is one and maybe there isn’t. I’m not a professional wine tester so I have no freakin’ clue. All I know is when I like/don’t like something and plan to write a humorous anecdote about it. Hence, this post.
This wine was not only not good, it tasted cheap and smelled cheap. It was kind of like drinking old Victoria’s Secret body spray and getting heartburn.
I realize it’s been a while since I’ve updated this blog. Sometimes life happens and blogging doesn’t. Lucky for you dear readers, I’ve got a fresh pack of K-Cups and no major plans so I’m back!
Anyway, yesterday after work and getting my taxes done (I adulted so hard yesterday) I hopped (insert Easter pun) over to Lucky’s Market.
The relatively new chain is currently only in eleven states. Labeling itself as “Organic for the 99%”, Lucky’s should have Whole Foods shaking in their vegan leather boots.
Lucky’s is a cross between Aldi and Trader Joe’s, featuring organic and local goods at ridiculously reasonable prices.
Check out the Lucky’s weekly sales flyer in link above and notice the $6.99 lobster tails. FREAKIN’ LOBSTER TAILS, YA’LL! IN KENTUCKY!
Like I need to sell you any further on this magical place where you can drink beer while you shop that also takes coupons.
Lucky’s offers well-known organic and food alternative brands like Amy’s, Silk, So Delicious, and Nature’s Path as well as their own brand. Not to mention a salad bar, fresh-cut meat, orange juice and smoothies made in-house, sushi, pizza, baked goods, and miles of bulk candy. Not to mention a wide selection of beauty and personal care products.
Non GMO candy is what will save the world. Image via.
I can see myself setting up shop here on a weekly basis. It’s cheap, close to my work, and offers amazing food. I consider myself pretty lucky to live near Lucky’s (so many puns, I’ll stop now and enjoy my Lucky’s organic K-Cups and chocolate chip scones).
I wouldn’t call myself successful by any means, but I’ve learned a thing or two about writing fiction (and writing in general) in the past year. In that time, I’ve written and self-published a novella, finished the first installment of my book series, started the second, been querying literary agents, started this blog/site, and am constantly scribbling down ideas.
I’m going to do a few posts under the tag “writing advice” as a way to share what I’ve learned as a way to help others who might be struggling.
There is no right or wrong way to write. I’ve seen/heard people say, “I want to write but don’t know how.”
Yes, you do. All you have to do is write. It might not be good but trust me, it will get better.
Writing is like working out. The more you do it and practice the better and stronger you get. Writing will be easier for some than others and there is nothing wrong with that.
All of your favorite books had rough drafts and were most likely terrible. We all start somewhere, so flex that writing muscle and get to lifting!
Even if you are writing gay Harry Potter fan fiction, you are still a step ahead of the person who says they are going to write gay Harry Potter fan fiction and never does.
Whole Foods is a magical wonderland full of tasty treats, healthy options, and totally ridiculous items like these packaged pre-peeled oranges.
This is dangerously close to being as terrible as Donald Trump. Image via.
These oranges were spotted last week and have since led to a much deserved uproar. Whole Foods does offer a wide selection of pre-packaged items like cut fruit, and pre-cooked meals, but these peeled oranges are a deadly and stupid combination of American laziness, someone in marketing thought they had a good idea, and hipster idealism. LOOK I GOT THESE SUPER COOL ORANGES AT WHOLE FOODS FOR $5.99 A POUND! I HAD THEM FIRST BEFORE THEY WERE COOL! *ADJUSTS SCARF AND GLASSES*.
There are a multitude of reasons why this is stupid. I don’t need to elaborate as I hope the people reading this are intelligent enough to realize why it is stupid. This move is hypocritical on the part of the chain which clearly prides itself on being Earth-friendly. While it could be argued everyone and every company and whatnot are hypocrites on some level, but this is irresponsible on the part of the store as it cost labor hours and extra money to peel and package the “oranges”. This is even more frustrating considering the store banned plastic bags in 2008.
I bet the scenario went something like this:
Marketing Douche: “Let’s sell these fancy tangerines for far more than they’re worth.”
Marketing Douche #2: “Excellent! That’s what we do at Whole Foods. When you shop here you are paying the name and the fact that you can say you went to Whole Foods!”
Original Marketing Douche: “OMIGOD, GUYS! I have the best idea EVER! Let’s pre-peel them to make people think they are getting something special. No one on the internet is going to make fun of this or be outraged.
I admit to have once fallen for the majesty that is Whole Foods (Whole Wallet). After this mishap, I’ll never set a foot in that pretentious wasteland. Like a bad relationship, you eventually will find a flaw you can’t get past and this one is mine.
I can understand shopping at Whole Foods if it is the only store in your area where you can buy certain things, have dietary restrictions, etc. Since I am lucky enough to have other options, I am officially breaking up with Whole Foods.
I’m running a day behind in my Wine Up Wednesday series I promised myself I would write every week. Not sure if I will be able to keep up with the weekly wine posts considering I haven’t bought or opened a new bottle or had any wine for over a week. Some people might call that control, I call it being lazy and poor.
The Queen does not approve.
I’ll play this one by ear and see how it goes.
The wine for this week is another one I bought at the magical wonderland that is Trader Joe’s, Amancay Winery Malbec. Before I bought this bottle, I had never tasted a Malbec before. It wasn’t a wine I heard/read about very often and didn’t know anyone who drank it. Thanks to TJ’s for setting up the sample stand and letting me pour this down my word hole!
When I first learned about Malbec on a wine site, I thought it sounded like something gross your grandmother could keep in her cabinet beside the Metamucil and Kaopectate. While the name is less glamourous than Cabernet Sauvignon or even Merlot, Malbec deserves some time in the spotlight. According to Wine Folly, Malbec is growing in popularity. Could it be Malbec is the next Pumpkin Spice Latte? Doubtful.
This Malbec is much sweeter and less dry than Merlot or even Cab. It has a fruity taste while still being rich and full bodied like a good red should be. One of the coolest things about Malbec is the color. Other red wines have a red (duh), purple, or burgundy color. Malbec has a distinct magenta shade.
Not only is it tasty, it’s pretty! Win. Image via.
This one is tasty by itself and also with some cheddar/mozzarella Frankencheese also from TJ’s. I didn’t have any “real” food with it but I imagine it would go practically well with red meats and rich vegetables.
Emily Wesley Stringer 
