Netflix’s “The Crown” Is “Downton Abbey” On Steroids And I Can’t Stop Watching

Not having to work for 12 days means I get to working out…my remote.

I love a good historical drama, but I tend to shy away from dramatizations of real-life events, especially those I’m familiar with. There’s nothing I hate more than historical figures are inserted as characters in fictional accounts. To me, it’s sloppy, lazy writing. Why not use your creativity to write a new character instead of using a real person, you hack?!?! I actually had a brief Internet fight with someone on a writing site about this topic. I no longer visit writing sites.

I can watch The Crown simply for the fact I didn’t know jack shit about hardly any of it.  I know English Royal Family 101. However, I didn’t know the story because I’m American AF. For me, watching this is no different from a completely fictional show with parts I’m mildly familiar with.

I did know about Wallis Simpson and Edward VIII’s abdication I love a good 80 year-old scandal. The whole time I was wondering if the show was going to go there. IT TOTALLY GOES THERE AND IT’S AWESOME!

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This show is perfect parts grand spectacle/showing real struggles and excellent characterization. 12/10. One of the things I love about this show is how they showed Queen Elizabeth’s insecurities about her ability to rule and her education as well as her personal struggles (a.k.a Prince Phillip can be a major turd). Queen Elizabeth goes from a twenty-something forced into a job she didn’t want to a total bad ass.

Plus, the whole time I’m like…

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Would you like some cheesy potatoes with that?

I have a fascination with the darker side of life. I’m the type of person who has been into an embalming room by choice, been on police ride alongs, and have routinely asked my Catholic colleagues about the prevalence of exorcisms. No one should be surprised I’m slightly obsessed with Kelly, the woman featured on an episode of TLC’s Freaky Eaters who only eats cheese covered potatoes.

 

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I would totally shove those down my word hole. Image.

 

Why? I don’t know.

Maybe it’s because I like so many different foods and have a problem processing only eating two of them forever.

Maybe it’s because I am a good American and occasionally enjoy watching crap TLC shows.

Or maybe things like this bring out my inner psycho and seeing this makes me somehow feel better about myself. “Hey! I’m 27, poor, much less successful than my friends, overweight, and a crappy writer, but at least I’m not as crazy as that person on *insert TLC show* is.” 

Face it, that’s why we all watch these shows (if that’s something you’re inclined to do). I’m a firm believer in the power of mindless entertainment for the point of relaxation and turning off your brain at the end of the day, which is another place these shows come in.

I’ve never actually seen this episode of the show. I was introduced to this now Internet-famous person via the magical wonderland of Tumblr.

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In this clip, Kelly explains when she was a child she was forced to eat something she didn’t like (like EVERY PERSON EVER) and then her cheesy potato-laden life began. She’s been eating cheesy potatoes every day for every meal for 30 FREAKING YEARS!

Not only does this episode fascinate me, it also bothers me. Not only because of the fact this woman only eats cheesy potatoes but the fact she’s a grown woman and freakin’ cries when she sees a vegetable. I mean, really? Who does that?

 

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THEY’RE COMING FOR YOU, KELLY! Image.

 

I understand not liking a certain food but literally breaking down and crying because your husband wants you to eat something healthy is baffling to me. I mean, I hate watermelon, beef stroganoff, and sloppy joes but I don’t cry when I see them.

So, why am I writing about this and what does it mean? Well, besides the fact I’m using this to express my weird fascination with this and hope someone else finds it was ridiculous and fascinating as I do.

We can also learn something from this.

Let’s start with the obvious: cheesy potatoes are damn delicious. But we can’t or shouldn’t eat them all the time.

Sometimes we have to grow up and eat a vegetable.