#TEASER TUESDAY For My Upcoming Release “Halloween House Party”

 

Halloween House Party

I made dis.

Halloween House Party is another short horror novel from my twisted mind. The book will be up for pre-order within the next week (I’ll keep you posted).

Twin brothers, Chris and Craig along with their roommate Goober have been planning a blowout Halloween party for months. It’s their senior year of college, their last time to really throw down.
When an unfortunate accident meets wrong place at the wrong time, the boys are determined not to let the setback literally crash their party. As the Halloween shenanigans continue, an escaped psycho killer joins the party for his own breed of murderous fun.

This exclusive teaser will only be available for a limited time!

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Why I Write What I Write (And Don’t Hold Back)

This week, my second book and first full novel was released on Amazon. Yay me! (I guess… waiting for the inevitable bad reviews.) I didn’t want to self-publish my book and be an indie author. The label of indie can either be cool or pretentious crap, depending on your tastes. Since I don’t write pretentious crap, I suppose that makes me cool.

I still feel like a failure because I didn’t get an agent and a shiny book deal. In a sea of generic romance novels, predictable mysteries, over-detailed, dull dribble, and the ever-popular young adult novels set in dystopia, I honestly didn’t stand a chance. Now, here we are. I guess I’ll just have to get over it. I got over a hundred rejections AND actually had an agent tell me by book wouldn’t sell. Writing books is hard, guys.#DestinedForMediocrity

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Me trying to get my book published.

There’s no denying ebooks are the future, and the future is now. I don’t have to look up an article to prove that traditional book stores are slowly dying. It’s sad, but it’s the reality of what is happening in the world of publishing. Books and bookstores are great. So is technology and capitalism, two things we know always win. Amazon has a clear monopoly on ebooks and e-readers, and no one wants to admit it. No one knows this more than authors, both traditional and indie. Both of my books are exclusively available on Amazon and always will be. I’ve read similar sentiments from many authors stating they’ve had no sales or minimal sales on iBooks and Nook (Barnes and Noble), to the point where they don’t even list their books on those sites. Smashwords, an exclusive indie book site is probably the second most popular ebook site for indie authors. This should also worry traditional publishers. Many writers, including several previously agented authors are going the self route because it’s easier, you get more creative freedom, and often more money unless there is an advance. From what I’ve gathered, advances are getting smaller or publishers aren’t even offering them.

What’s interesting to me is that the agents claim to want “fresh, unique writing” in whatever genre they accept. But, end up signing the types of books I mentioned earlier. Let’s face it, all literary agents want is to find the next Hunger Games and get their percentage of the earnings. What’s interesting about this is the books that are being traditionally published aren’t the most popular on Amazon. You know what sells on Amazon?

Also, horror, murder mystery, romantic suspense, and still, young adult. There are indie authors selling millions of copies I wish I could write a generic YA novel and start counting my cash, but I can’t. The old adage “write what you know” rings true. From my experience, you can’t write what you don’t read which is why you’ll never see me write an erotic romance novel or a YA novel. I write murder, weird relationships, anti-heroes, psychopaths, violence, sex, drinking,  swear words, gangsters, historical fiction, characters who have bad days, characters who have nosebleeds during sexual acts (SPOILER), characters who vomit up champagne outside of nightclubs (SPOILER AGAIN), and zombies who attack a wedding…you know, stuff I know and enjoy.

I like to say, without sounding like a dad trying to be cool that I keep it real. By real, I mean my characters who barf, get nosebleeds, and say “the f word” when they are being chased by zombies. Someone left me a bad review because a fictional character said the dreaded “f word”. Boohoo, a fictional character offended you! If you’ve offended someone with your writing you’re doing something right, it shows you’re passionate enough to tell the truth.

It blows my mind in a world where everyone is offended by almost everything, that we don’t get worked up by the gratuitous violence on television. It’s okay to show murdered hookers on CSI. It’s okay to kill kids and bash in heads with barbwire-wrapped baseball bats on The Walking Dead, It’s okay to do pretty much everything on Game of Thrones. If all of those things are okay, books should be no different.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll get back to writing murder mysteries set in the 1930s that will probably offend someone.

My Book “Live Fast, Die Pretty” Is Now Up For Pre-Order On Amazon PLUS A SPECIAL TEASER COMING TUESDAY 1/17!

You can now add Kindle Scout reject to my resume. Oh well, such is the evil game of writing. Kids, don’t write books, it’s hard. Do drugs instead (LOL J/K). Still, editing your own work is still 100 times worse than the constant stream of rejection. After so long, you get used to it and become so dead inside and immune to it that even shoving ungodly amounts of French Toast Sticks down your word hole loses its charm.

I recently discovered the hashtag on Twitter #TeaserTuesday and thought I’d try it out in order to see (1. if it works, and (2. for disgusting shameless self-promotion which has pretty much become my life.

If you want to check out my book, you can here. Come back Tuesday for a teaser…IF YOU DARE! *insert evil laugh*

Be sure to bring your own French Toast Sticks, I ain’t sharing.

Murder, Murder Everywhere

I’ve created a true crime blog because why not? Who doesn’t love a good murder story?

There’s a reason why people love redundant cop dramas and shows like Wives With Knives; we have a morbid, yet normal fascination with the horrific things other people do to one another. Fictional detectives also make old people feel safe, knowing Mark Harmon is putting away bad guys helps middle America sleep at night.

For a twice weekly dose of murdery goodness, check out amurdermostfoul.com. If you are a part of the toxic Internet wasteland that is Twitter follow the blog @AMMFBlog.

Now, I present hipster John Wayne Gacy.

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My latest book “Live Fast, Die Pretty” is up for nominations on Kindle Scout

Time for some shameless self promotion.

I actually really hate doing this, but I know it’s a part or writing books. I don’t want to be that person that’s like: “OHMIGODBUYMYSTUPIDBOOKI’MSOCOOLANDSOMUCHBETTERTHANYOUBECAUSEIWROTEABOOKANDHAVEANAPPLECOMPUTER!”

That is not the person I want to be. You know the type of person I’m talking about. I guarantee you know one or four. They are probably friends.

I’ve gotten better at promoting my own books/writing. Mainly because I’ve taught myself how to do it (a.k.a. using the right hashtags on Twitter). Now I do it all the time and have gotten over it.

Now, I’m going to self-promo vomit all over my own blog.

Kindle Scout is crowdfunding style publishing from Amazon. People nominate books and winners get an exclusive publishing contract with Amazon. This is a great opportunity considering Amazon pretty much has a monopoly on ebook publishing, even though it seems no one wants to admit it. Sorry Barnes and Noble, Nook just can’t compete.

I’ve been working on these books for longer than I care to admit and think they are pretty cool, even though all the literary agents and publishers who rejected it so many times I lost count obviously thought otherwise. I’m trying not to be bitter and I’ve lost all faith in traditional publishing, which only wants a bunch of Young Adult novels set in a dystopia. God forbid someone writes something different.

My book which is currently up for nominations on Kindle Scout is the first installment of my book series, The Movie Star Murders.

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Dat cover art. I love my own cover art I designed via telling someone else what I wanted and demanding they do it right.

Live Fast, Die Pretty is the first installment of a planned series entitled THE MOVIE STAR MURDERS in which another aspect of the mystery is revealed in each title until the entire mystery is solved in the final book (probably 4 total depending on how long I can go killing off the fictional jackasses I’ve created).  The series combines the glamorous and torrid world of Old Hollywood with gritty cop drama and romantic suspense. Ooh, fancy!

Here’s a synopsis: In 1934, actress Candy Carmichael was murdered. Detective Jack Vance immediately suspects her husband, movie star Rex Harper. When Rex returns from a location shoot, he finds the love of his life engaged to his long-time enemy, as well as someone trying to frame him for more murders. This prompts Rex to convince Jack of his innocence and win back the love of his life. As the mystery deepens, Jack, Rex, and those closest to them uncover deep secrets and shocking connections.

Good times, right?

Anyway, the book is up for nominations until December 31.

You can vote for it here.