The things I do for a blog post.
I really did Zsa Zsa Gabor’s workout video.
When Zsa Zsa passed away Sunday, I immediately went down a Zsa Zsa-tastic Internet rabbit hole. There’s nothing I love more than scrolling through pages about the lives of celebrities from bygone eras. I also love working out. For real, I do. I’m pretty sure I love nachos more, but that’s another thing.
As I fell deeper into the rabbit hole, I discovered Zsa Zsa had her own workout video. In the eighties and early nineties every celebrity had a workout video. I don’t know why this information surprised me. I was immediately intrigued and promise myself I would do it.
First of all, I would like to thank the kind soul who uploaded this to YouTube. You’re a real hero. There’s a special place in Heaven for you.
I previewed a few minutes of the video at work yesterday. I didn’t think I could make it through the video without laughing my ass off. Well, I did, but I actually completed the workouts with my own modifications.
Admittedly, I thought this was going to be a seventy-something year-old Zsa Zsa touching her toes and doing some light stretches for 30 minutes. I was pleasantly surprised to find myself doing tricep kickbacks, multiple sets of squats, overhead presses while Zsa Zsa uttered words of encouragement and fact, such as, “you’re doing great, darling!” and “you use ze stomach muscles all the time, especially when you’re making love.”
It was clearly designed for people who don’t work out on a regular basis. Sorry, Zsa Zsa, I don’t need to sit in a chair to do squats (ass to grass, baby! Which totally contradicts her advice to “tuck in your fanny”). She also goes on about how skinny legs on a woman is terrible. This is something I can get down with. I seriously want a workout playlist with random Zsa Zsa quotes from this video randomly inserted into songs. Also, I can curl and press more than a 3 pound dumbbell. I modified and made it more of a challenge by omitting the chair and using a 10 pound dumbbell for about every workout. With the modifications, it was a decent workout. I will actually probably be sore tomorrow.
This video is the epitome of cheesy 90’s workout videos. Zsa Zsa blatantly hits on the two beefcake guys in the video, which makes them obviously uncomfortable. Today, it would be sexual harassment. When Miss Hungary 1936 does push ups on your back, it’s a beautiful thing.