In Hindsight, These Republicans Aren’t So Bad Compared To Donald Trump

Donald Trump is a terrible human being (if you even want to call him one at this point). No need to go into details. Unless you’re living under a rock or in a coma, you know all about the pussy grabbin’ piece of shit that is Donnie T.

The Republican party did this to themselves by loosing their damn minds and nominating a Cheeto-colored garbage person. Really, guys? You go from Abe Lincoln to that? For a group that calls themselves the Grand ‘Ol Party, ya’ll can do better.

Obviously, I’m not a member of the GOP. I will keep voting for Hillary Clinton until one of us dies. There is literally nothing she could do that would prevent me from voting for her. Regardless of how you feel about our future Madame President, everyone with half a brain knows there is not a single person on Earth who is more qualified to be the leader of the free world than Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton.

I will never vote for a Republican as long as my O Negative blood pumps through my cold, evil, liberal, millennial heart. Good thing I live in Kentucky, which has 8 electoral votes so I could never vote again (not going to happen) and it wouldn’t matter. Still, I’m blue ’til the end unless America turns into The Upside Down and the two parties switch.

Looking back on history and past elections, these GOP members listed below don’t seem so bad compared to Lord Assface McOrange.

Ronald Reagan

Potential Pussy Grabs: 2 (he was an actor in Old Hollywood, after all).

Sure, the dude was a huge turd sandwich. He named names during the McCarthy hearings and sold out his former friends and colleagues. He sold weapons to the enemy. He ignored the threat of Saddam Hussein, which later turned out to be a very bad idea.

People loved him despite his epic fails. Look at the man and his dog on Air Force One with his trademark jelly beans on display. My God, he’s like America’s token grandpa. Now, picture Donald Trump.

 

Mitt Romney 

Potential Pussy Grabs: -4 (unless Marie Osmond is around)

The world cheered when presidential loser Mitt came out and blasted Trump. He really had no chance of winning in 2012, but damn it, he tried and us Dems hated him for it. We’ve moved past it and now he’s just a dude who loves going to Costco with his wife.

Compared to Trump, Mitt is the handsome older guy who lives down the street. He’s the Dad that will take you home from soccer practice. He’s also Mormon as hell, so you know he won’t be grabbing pussy unless Marie Osmond shows up like I mentioned before You  know he and Ann have totally been asked to swing with their weird friends and actually said no.

Most importantly, this GIF exists.

George W. Bush

Potential Pussy Grabs: 0

Oh, W how we don’t miss you. There are so many bad things about Bush 2: ‘Lil Georgie’s White House Adventure, I don’t even know where to start. There was a time when many of us wished you’d choked harder on that pretzel. Sure, he’s a war criminal but a cute one! He also paints, seems to be BFF with Michelle, and is releasing an art book this year.

We sort of forgive you. Keep up the good post-White House work, buddy! No shit.

 

Richard Nixon

Potential Pussy Grabs: 2

Nixon grabbed Lady Liberty by the pussy and royally fucked her (and not in the good way).

Total crook, liar, and another turd sandwich. Today, Nixon would be viewed as a total liberal Commie by the Tea Party and Trumpers. He started the EPA (anyone who loves trees that much has got to be a dirty liberal), ended the draft AND involvement in Vietnam, and improved relations with China and the U.S.S.R. 

Yeah, total Democrat.

He’s also the first and only president to resign, thus grabbing his own pussy.

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